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from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central >> jon: hey, i had to turn-- welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart, guest tonight nbc news anchorman brian, brian, brian williams.
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actually, father of daily show correspondent jessica williams, true. (laughter) but first of all, let's get to some serious stuff. on the international scene. the about the united states becoming involved in the war in syria. slow down, america. remember our troops are still in afghanistan and we still haven't figured out for sure who won the iraq war. (laughter) and the nominees, a winner of the iraq war are iraq. the united states of america. and daniel-day lewis. (laughter) and the winner of the 2003 to 2011 iraq war is -- >> on the front page of the
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"new york times," china is the biggest winner, economic winner from the iraq war. (laughter) >> jon: they weren't even nominated! china is not even in the running. don't you have to be in a war to win it? china? china, they have already beaten us in synchronized drumming and bear cuteness, air chew ability. (laughter) you got to take this from us too? >> china is the leading buyer of iraq oil purchasing is 1.5 million barrels a day or half of iraq's output. >> jon: china is buying that? huh? i guess all those protestors were wrong. they had the no in the wrong
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place. yes, that was what happened. that's what we did. we died for the no oil. how did china get to buy all the oil in iraq? >> china has spent more than $2 billion and sent hundreds of workers into iraq to secure a stake in the oil business. (laughter) iraq you awarded all your oil contracts to china, iraq. i mean come on, man. we launched a sustained shock and awe bombing campaign on your country. we reduced your already stressed infrastructure to rubble and unleashed sectarian conflict that even now cost your country hundreds of lives per month. and this is how you repay us? (laughter) you ungrateful-- china thinks oh, we spent $2 billion, rebuilding iraq
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infrastructure. big [bleep] deal! when we were in iraq we spent $2 billion just looking for the other $9 billion we lost. apparently we shipped it to iraq in a contain their said $9 billion and someone ran off with it. well, mission accomplished. (laughter) what does that say? that actually looks like a cutout of george w. bush. would we have to cut him out? i think we actually have that picture of him just with a different sign. i don't know by the way if that actually says mission accomplished in mandarin that actually could say something about general caoi. i don't know. it did cost us at the show $2 billion. anyway. it's not fair that china gets all that-- black gold,
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liquid-- it's like iraq is a slot-- porter after for others knowing that any minute iraq is going to pay off, saying we have to get up to the bathroom and dying to sit down and boom. blaaaahhhh! i'm sorry, could we stop that? what are those, oil biscuits? what were those? i can't stay mad at you, iraq. i can't stay mad at you, china. we invade iraq and china gets spoils not to mention all that sweet made in china yellow ribbon magnet money. they get it every which way. (laughter) what is more ironic than
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that. >> china opposed the liberation of iraq and tried to armed saddal hussein regime. >> china. they do everything they can to hurt us, but we still end up helping them. they're like a bank of america-- if bank of america was a country. (applause) how did we not see this coming? >> the war is like a dark room when you open the door you never know where you're going to end up. >> yes, i believe those were the wordses of decorated general-- yeah, i believe that also accurately described the party at-- but the point is this, really? we're doing jokes about the war in iraq, people dying
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and like whooo! andy dick's house-- i thought we had something. -- >> helping the iraq people rebuild their civil society. and the free institutions that sustain a democracy. >> prior difficulties iraq does have an emerging free market with an independent central bank, and thousands of small businesses operating across the country. >> all right, those are our values. we got into iraq, it turns out we show that-- the it
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seems if the war had another winner that would be us. >> the winner of the iraq war was france. >> son of a bitch! i'm starting this thing this whole iraq-- we'll be right back.
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>> jon: welcome back.
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summer is almost here. a time to find something to worry about for the next month. what is it going to be, gas prices, -- >> the death toll is rising from a newly discovered respiratory virus. >> the world health organization is calling it a spread the world. >> spreading like wildfire no prevention, no cure. >> muscle aches then confusion, rapidly breathing becomes difficult. >> oh my goth, i have all those symptoms. i got them. >> i'm not a microbiologist so in this story i don't need to see your virus sore. i don't know what that is. i have no idea if that picture means we're all
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going to die or congratulations. so what virus is this, h1n1, your sars, glars, florps. >> it's called mers. >> deadly mers. >> mers. >> mers. >> mers. >> jon: so you're saying it might not-- mer. come back over here. i never know, are you supposed to hear that, mer, da, da, da, or is it supposed to go mer, da, da, da. it is an essence, like best -- >> so is this the new virus where did it even come from. >> the original reports the
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virus starts from a bat. and we think based on our analysis, that it also came from bats. >> wait a second, if it came from bats how did we get it. (laughter) because if so, i am in big trouble. (laughter) >> so we don't quite know how it spreads whether you breathe it in from another person or a fluid exchange. how do you determine that? >> i think our best guest in this virus incubates on a wall man ter behind the host of a news show. (laughter) >> and then jumps to their neck region. we're all going die at the hands of some sort of crazy
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bat. >> there are 53 known cases now, 30 people have died from the infection since september. >> over 1500 patients, more than 80,000 people have died. >> you know what they call that on game of thrones, a wedding. >> yeah, that's right. oh, i'm sorry, spoiler alert. read the book. there's a lot more where that came from, mister. so what's all the fuss about, my friends. >> ha, ha. enjoy your mers, people, whatever that stands for.
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>> middle eastern-- caught from close contact with someone. >> the middle east res practice store-- respiratory syndrome corona virus. >> we'll be right back. oe.#)!
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>> jon: welcome back, my gles tonight, the anchor and managing editor of nbc nightly news please welcome back to this program, brian williams! sir! how are you? >> fine, thank you very much. jon, i come here tonight, the hour is late, the week grows late. i come here tonight in something of an intervention. i come here tonight on behalf of these people and the people who watch you
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every night across the country, don't go, jon. >> oh. >> no. >> you're going leave us with this olver twist guy. >> no, no, no, no. he's -- >> i can't understand him when he talks. >> no. >> efly cockneyed accent. >> here's the thing. >> cotton tops and. >> he writes and produces the show, they just spell it out for me fon etically on the monitor. >> there is nothing good about this. >> he's going give you a sense of shakespearian elegance to this program. he's going to lend class and style. you know, 20 minutes into the show, he's going to serve tea, 20 minutes into the show. tea and crumpets for the entire audience. >> why are you doing this, three months. i means that's a lot of nick at night. >> here's what is so interesting. this has turned new some respects, and i don't say this without any affection, in some respects it has turned you into an old jewish man. >> well. >> the inflection, did you one of these, i mean why.
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it's a lot of nick at knight. you have been to the jersey shore yet this year? i was there this weekend. it's coming back, baby, the jersey shore. they've rebuilt it as fast as, i mean it was even over the two week that i was there previously they have thrown up buildings that i never new existed before. >> someplaces are in for a rough go between where you guys have a place and where we have a place and where we meet for ice cream, someplaces are going to i have a rough g there is one town, lost 152 homes. and then south of that, ortley beach, normandy beach, these folks. >> they got crushed. >> but all those areas. >> where i grew up, sea brite was our home. >> max's hot dogs. >> maxes or the windmill, got to be fair. but i am a sorry. but there are -- >> maxes. >> there are so many good organizations. >> let's settle it. >> it's maxes. >> no, it's maxes for me but
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the windmill as a family-owned institution, i think we have to be proper about it. like i'm a huffman's ice cream guy, you took to us a different place. >> i'm just-- i just am lactose intolerant. >> i knew we were going there. >> hey, speaking of the president, let me ask you this. so there's a lot of talk, the department of justice cracking down on professional organization, do you think they're reading your e-mails because i have e-mailed you and said oh, philly things, do you think there is someone at doj who is doing one of these. >> i hope so. >> oh, wow, my eyes are bleeding. >> i hope so there were some guys outside wanting to talk to you when we're over here. no, i, this is-- you know, leaks are actually a big part of and lately have been of our democracy. leaks are how we have learned about-- a lot of stories.
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>> exactly. >> especially in the last ten years in the war on terrorism. so i think we will find our way. the attorney general is in a rough spot over this. and to a lesser extent the president. >> but do you think that it was-- there's all these scandals. there's nothing literally to connect the white house as though there is coordination involved. but these are certainly were republicans who have for five years desperately thrown their poop at the wall to try and get something to stick to this guy. these are two things that are worthy of scrutiny, no? >> i think between benghazi, the irs and now this, this is in part what happens to second terms. we watched this with bill clinton, remember. everything that happened in his second term between monica lewinsky and whitewater. see this is-- . >> jon: but see this s i don't like to group these things into different things. first of all, benghazi, that is a situation, they issued an arb on that and think
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showed that the state department was truly lacking throughout its communication and all that, that is a separate thing. the irs targeting specific groups that needs to be addressed. if that was driven by the white house which it doesn't seem to in any way be connected to them t is still something that needs to be addressed. but the department of justice, criminalizing journalism, i this si an enormous, that is not to say that all leaks are created equal. but have they ever listed a reporter as a coconspirator in a criminal case. >> by this time tomorrow all i can say is we will know more. we will have heard from the attorney general. i think this is the week. they're going to try to get a little more transparent. >> were you in on the meeting where it was off the record, was anybody from nbc. >> our organization was, yes. >> what did they say? first of all we believed it was -- >> this is off the record. >> we believed it was beneficial and net-net that it was better to go than not to go.
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>> jon: what did they serve watch. dow serve for that kind of thing, have some cake. >> i'm a liar! how did it go? >> i'll only say this. it's been unusual to be in a way on both sides of the war on terrorism. i have seen the end effect of a drone. i have watched it carried out on a live television. i have seen the file building, the target acquisition. >> i watch homeland. >> it is a rare thing. and that's the other end of this. >> but no, but they leak when it's to their advantage. >> of course they do. >> and they allow that to go through. but when it is to their disadvantage they have been very draconian. >> when they argue national security they do it with the authority of, well, you've seen. >> sure. yeah. >> we're to the going to end there. we just can't. we have to talk about something happy. three months, really? >> man! yeah. >> are you going to come,
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you should come over. >> don't you want to direct. >> i don't want to direct. >> three months say long time, i'm just speaking on behalf of those of us that lover you. >> let me tell you this, and i appreciate that very much. i will miss the people more than the people will miss me. that saul mi going say. >> no, i doubt that very, very highly. >> let me say this. when i am there-- skets el down. i saw that. in life, in general, people do not applaud for you. like when i'm in the middle east and gi into a restaurant, people are going to go he got the fall avel so that i'm not going to be getting its love that i get four nights a week, 22 minutes a night here on viacom's comedy central property, also with workaholics in-- and "the colbert report," i will be over there -- >> yeah. >> i don't regard you as mikey the marketer you but
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that was really a suck up job of massive proportion. >> thank you very much. >> and that was wonderful illiteration. >> just because they are giving you three months off, just saying good-bye, here's olver twist with the news, great, fantastic. great, we're going do mary poppins for three months while you're over being kres il b demill. >> you're going to like him. brian williams is, you can catch him on nbc. >> it's good. >> almost every night. and down at the jersey shore on the weekends. >> si have weakeneds off so i can be there. >> head down to the shore. >> when you come back i will buy you an ice cream cone. >> that is so nice. thank you very much. i'm lactose intolerant. brian ms @@@@
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>> that's our show, join us tomorrow night at 11, here it is your moment of zen. >> kids it do goofy things so how do i know this issue that came to life isn't prevalent in a lot of places and i just sort of take my
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captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh engineering gone out of control? potatoes have eees, corn has ears, and now turnips have big titties. then bad news for photojournalism. a picture is now worth about 37 words. and my guest, jonathan alter, has a new book about obama versus the republicans. so thrilling, it's like nothing gets done on every page. the t.s.a. has dropped its plans to allow golf clubs on airplanes. great. now the putting green in first class s useless. this is the colbert

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart
Comedy Central June 10, 2013 9:00am-9:31am PDT

Brian Williams News/Business. Brian Williams. (2013) Journalist Brian Williams. (CC)

TOPIC FREQUENCY China 16, Iraq 8, Da 6, America 4, Brian Williams 3, Nick 2, United States 2, Jon 2, Benghazi 2, Jon Stewart 2, Mer 1, Olver 1, Huffman 1, Bill Clinton 1, Andy Dick 1, Jessica Williams 1, Mister 1, Oe 1, Lewis 1, Porter 1
Network Comedy Central
Duration 00:31:00
Rating PG-13;L
Scanned in San Francisco, CA, USA
Source Comcast Cable
Tuner Channel v63
Video Codec mpeg2video
Audio Cocec ac3
Pixel width 528
Pixel height 480
Sponsor Internet Archive
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